Men Talking Cancer Blog: Joe Bullock
“Blazing A New Trail In The Cancer Space”
By Joe Bullock
As a teenager I would spend many of my Saturday nights hanging out with my friends and avoiding my toxic homelife. We would go to a local college town and hang out at a video arcade near campus playing the games for hours on end. We could sometimes talk one of the local college kids we knew into scoring us a six pack of beer or two.
We just had to shove a few extra bucks their way to make it happen for us. I never did get drunk but the buzz I got from the beer made me forget a bit what was waiting for me at home.
There was a local movie theater that would hold a double feature of The Rocky Horror Picture Show along with Monty Python and The Holy Grail. The first one I thought was freaking hilarious and the other I just found just confusing. I never really got the humor of Monty Python. It felt just as confusing as being diagnosed with cancer. I can definitely now relate to finding a cure for cancer as difficult as finding the holy grail.
If I am quite honest with myself, being a ‘Trailblazer’ is not something I was known for the first fifty years of my life. In general I have always been a fairly easy going person. I guess you would call me the ‘The Go with the Flow’ type of guy.
I would pretty much fly under the radar and I have always been known as the ‘Nice Guy’ in most social situations. I was voted in high school to be ‘ The Most friendliest person’ of my senior class. I generally didn't like to rock the boat or bring any attention to myself. I would find that life generally happened to me instead of me having an impact on it.
Being diagnosed with stage 3b colorectal cancer five years ago I faced cancer in a very similar way and suddenly I became "The nice and easy going cancer patient”. I questioned very little about the treatments for my cancer and just went with the flow most of the time. I just kept my mouth shut and did what I was told to do at the time.
Most of that had come from my toxic homelife and being a victim of child abuse at the hands of my own father. I kept my head down and gutted through treatments in much the same way I dealt with that relationship.
Luckily my oncologist wasn’t allowing me to have that mindset. During our first couple of appointments he told me ‘I GOT YOU!’. He made sure my voice was heard in that room and that I was a participant in my treatment plan. He always set aside time during each appointment to patiently answer any questions that I would have at that moment, especially as I was researching more about my cancer diagnosis. Unfortunately many patients are not afforded this opportunity and just accept the treatment options given to them.
When I was told I had cancer it felt very much like being the groom at my own wedding and just standing there waiting for my beautiful bride. The difference was cancer appeared to be more like the Rocky Horror Picture Show wedding and not nearly The Father Of The Bride version that our wedding was to my bride.
As on my wedding day, It wasn’t so much about me at the time but more about waiting for the big event that was about to occur in my life. When I heard those three words ‘You Have Cancer’ my palms were sweaty and I was nervous as hell much like I was on my wedding day. I was just waiting for that ‘Time Warp’ to begin as I started to battle my cancer.
Don’t get me wrong, getting married to the love of my life was the most life changing experience that has ever happened to me. I feel truly blessed as a man because I have a loving wife and a family that I have always wanted on this life’s journey.
The second would have to be being diagnosed with cancer. If I have learned anything these last few years If you don’t get scared doing something in life it might not be worth doing. I was freaking scared of cancer and the treatments that laid ahead for me. I have often told patients that the treatment for your cancer might seem scary and sometimes you just might have to do it scared because your life depends on it. It is something cancer has taught me over the years because it's just not my life being impacted but those that I love.
Today as an advocate in the cancer community I do try to be present for those seeking support that may find themselves in this place as I did a few years ago. I do this everyday in The Howling Place group and other spaces that I currently advocate in the cancer community.
I definitely feel like I have been through the craziest of time warps ever these past 5 years as a cancer survivor. It’s hard to believe I'll have my last set of follow up scans and blood work for my colon cancer in January 2024. I definitely don’t want to do that time warp again as the song goes in the movie.
For the last three years I have had the great opportunity to share many of the cancer journeys of the members of The Howling Place Group through a monthly blog called ‘ Joe’s Wolfpack Trailblazers.’. For some of these members it was the first time they had ever shared their journeys in the cancer space.
I was happy to help them to share their impactful stories that may have helped another man not feel so alone in cancerland. It’s now time to blaze a new trail.
I started this journey with Trevor Maxwell, the founder of Man Up To Cancer, four years ago when he invited me to join The Howling Place group on Facebook. Since then I have been involved with many aspects of creating this platform alongside Trevor and I am grateful that he has entrusted me with this incredible work.
Another change over the last couple of months is that I have spent my last four years of my life pouring my heart and soul into being the lead administrator for The Howling Place Facebook Group. In many ways that will never change because it's hard to give up your first love. Our very own ‘Cat Herder’ Michael Riehle has volunteered to take over that role from me. He has brought in his own passion for his love for THP group and is a fierce protector of the overall MUTC mission.
For the last two years Michael has been instrumental in creating the ‘Gathering Of Wolves’ retreat for Man Up To Cancer as well as being one of our most active administrators for the group. He was the first person I thought of to take on this role and we are incredibly grateful that he has volunteered to do this meaningful work.
These changes have opened up a few new opportunities in my own personal journey. A couple of months ago I accepted the position as Chief Operating Officer for the new Man Up To Cancer nonprofit. My job will be to work alongside Trevor and our incredible leadership team as we work to build this community and the nonprofit to support men in the emotional battle that goes with being diagnosed with cancer.
We will do this by building up and strengthening our three current programs. The MUTC chapter groups, The MUTC chemo backpack program and The Gathering of Wolves annual retreat. We will continue to work to make these programs successful and a valuable asset to the cancer community.
I’m incredibly grateful for the support I have received from my family, friends and my brothers from The Howling Place group over these last few years . I’ll alway be incredibly grateful to Trevor for allowing me to ride along on this ‘Time Warp’ with him. It has helped give me purpose and direction as a cancer survivor. It has allowed me to give back to others in a way I could not have imagined in my lifetime.
To find out more about the programs mentioned above visit www.manuptocancer.org. If I can ever offer you support in your cancer journey or if you have questions about the Man Up To Cancer organization. My inbox is always open and you can email me any time.
