JWT - Volume XVI

Joe’s Wolfpack Trailblazers

July 2021

I did something this month that I had not done in a while. I planted a tree in my yard. Although I did it reluctantly as it was given to my wife by her coworkers in honor and memory of the passing of her dad a few weeks ago. I thought to myself, why would you give someone a tree as a memorial gift? Did they not realize that it is more of a burden on the family to plant it? There was even a list of items I had to purchase to plant the tree. So off I go to the local garden center.    I had to ask an employee what I needed to do to plant it. 

You see, the person I would have asked had passed away a few weeks prior. My father in law loved nature, planting, gardening, and taking care of his yard. It brought him great joy and peace to his life. He was an example to me of what a father should be and I hope I would live by his example. I realized this gift of a tree was a perfect memorial to his life. The realization brought me to tears. 

The tree is called a Weeping Redbud. It’s appropriate because for the last few months I have done a lot of weeping. More than I have ever done since Trevor Maxwell asked me 17 months ago to help him create the Howling place groupI have felt a lot of loss and it's a part of the journey of many of us as cancer survivors.  

I have cried recently as men from our group — Alex Pabon, Brent Call, Wes Matteson, Jared McMillan and Christopher Marlett — were laid to rest and their journeys had come to an end. I was especially close to them and spoke with them often as we built The Howling Place group. I don’t have survivor’s guilt from their passing, I just miss my friends. I know they would not want me to feel guilty about their deaths. They would want me to keep doing what I’m doing to support others in the fight. They each taught me that in different ways. I will continue to honor them in this way and raise their banners high.

I have cried with excitement as we have learned of the successful surgeries of my friends Michael Riehle and Jason Randall which brought them to NED (No Evidence of Disease) status. It’s good to cry in celebration. There are happy tears in the fight. We need more of that in this world as survivors of cancer.

I have cried as l have learned of many brothers like Trevor Maxwell, Robbie Milam, Freddie Amos and many others who have had recurrences or need continued treatment because their cancer is progressing; and for friends whose journeys were coming to an end. I struggle to know how to support them in the fight and it brings me to tears. I know being in the moment and listening is the best I can do for them. The hardest is the youngest of these survivors, Jayden Oakes, who passed away July 17.

I have cried with joy over the births of children to Chris Lopez and Maholland Ali. As these survivors become fathers, it brings hope especially to the younger men in this cancer battle. 

Today I planted a tree. I wept as I thought about its honor and purpose. I wept as I realized there will be many reasons to cry as a cancer survivor. I welcome all of it with an open heart. It’s what strengthens me as a survivor. In no way does this make me weak or less of a man. It’s the purpose of 'Man Up To Cancer' as Trevor Maxwell has created it. As he says “Open heart and a warrior spirit.“ Over the last three years as a survivor of cancer myself, I have learned to always accept and feel the tears in the fight. #NeverEverGiveUp #FaithFamilyFight #KFG #NoOneFightsAlone #ManUpToCancer

I know these stories will bring hope to so many men in the battle with cancer. This month I share the journeys of Phillip Harms, Andrew Stevens, and Chris Brown. You will be truly inspired by each of them.

— Joe Bullock, lead administrator, Man Up to Cancer - The Howling Place (Also known as The Wolfpack)

Phillip Harms

PHILLIP HARMS

ORLANDO, FL

STAGE 3 BREAST CANCER

Hi there! My name is Phillip Harms and I have stage 3 breast cancer. I’m a husband and father of two wonderful children. I’m also an Army veteran. I currently do ministry work for a small Bible translation organization based in Orlando, Florida but spend most of my time working remotely from home with church leaders in SE Asia (until Covid travel restrictions are lifted). I also create strategy board games and recently started a small company so others can play what I make. My company is called GiddyUp Games and my soon to be released game is called Food Truck Face Off. You’ll be able to find it on Kickstarter soon.

In March of 2021 I began experiencing an irritation near my left nipple. I didn’t think anything of it at first. When that irritation turned into more significant pain two weeks later, it got my attention enough to feel around. What I felt was a lump that wasn’t present on the right side. Hmmm… 

Ok, I already had an appointment set up for a physical with my VA doctor. He felt the same lump as me and took action. I was lucky to have a mammogram on my 53rd birthday that would reveal a mass on my left breast and calcification of at least one lymph node under my left arm. The next day I had a biopsy and the day after that I received a phone call that would confirm I had breast cancer. Say what! Men don’t get breast cancer! Well, as it turns out, yes, they do.

I immediately let my mind begin to wander, sometimes to unhealthy places. I prayed a lot and asked my friends and family to do the same for me. I have a cousin who also was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer that had metastasized to numerous parts of her body. She of course gave me advice, one of which was to find a good support group. I found two that I wanted to join, one of which is Man Up To Cancer. I joined both groups while on vacation with my wife and daughter. I thought I better get one in “just in case” and as a way to relax before undergoing the knife. I’m glad I took the vacation and super happy to have found such a wonderful group of men who have gone before me and would let me know everything would be alright. The level of support and advice I get from these guys is off the charts. Many have gone the extra mile to connect with me personally. It’s sad that I get more support from my new friends more often than from long-time friends but I guess that is because they know what I’m going through.

On June 21st, 2021 I underwent a double mastectomy and had 8 lymph nodes removed from under my left arm, 2 of which were positive for cancer. I didn’t need to have both breasts removed but chose to do so because of advice I got from both groups. I’m glad that I did since I’m far more aerodynamic now and have a balanced look. At the time of writing this I’m still in recovery. The guys have been with me each day, they let me vent, they let me cry, they give excellent advice, and most importantly, they don’t judge.

My journey is just getting started. Yesterday I did a genetic test to see if any of my family is at risk for breast and other cancers, and in two weeks I will have my PET scan to see if my breast cancer has metastasized to other parts of my body. A few days after that I will meet with my oncologist to discuss any other treatment plans like radiation, chemo, or drugs I will need to take for the foreseeable future. In the waiting I have the “Wolfpack” to keep me company and they have me, the goofball from central Florida who likes to interject humor to diffuse the stress we all feel from time to time. Thanks brothers!  

Andrew Steven and family

ANDREW STEVEN

STAGE IV SQUAMOUS CELL CARCINOMA

ISANTI, MINNESOTA

To say cancer turned my world upside down would be an understatement. In March of 2020 my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and I made it my mission to get him and my mom moved close to me. His diagnosis controlled most of my life until I realized I had been ignoring a sore on my gums for a couple of months. In September I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in my gums. On October 13th I had six teeth removed, gum tissue resented, bone coped, as well fifty-three lymph nodes removed from my neck. 

It wasn’t until after this surgery that I realized how serious my disease was, as the pathology came back as a stage IV cancer. The coming months included seven weeks of chemotherapy and radiation as well as moving my parents into my house before my dad won his battle in February. In April I was diagnosed with a second primary tumor and had surgery in May to remove five more teeth and repair the damage in my mouth with a flap from my shoulder.

I rely on faith, family, friends, and the support of others going through the same mess I am. Cancer is too big to fight alone. I make it a point to be very authentic especially with others going through the same thing. I want them to know they are not alone and it is allowable to not be ok, but giving up is not an option. I try to share the uncomfortable moments that aren’t “manly”. No one knows if my past tobacco use contributed to my cancer but I know it didn’t help.

My prayer since diagnosis has been to use my diagnosis to help others. After I am finally in remission I am looking to start a local cancer support group for patients and caregivers. I also like contributing and giving advice to the different groups I am a part of. As much as cancer sucks I am looking forward to the different doors my diagnosis will open to help others going through the same thing.

Andrew Steven

Here is my entire timeline. I tried to condense everything down.

March 2020

I found out my Dad (step dad but he is/was my Dad) was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. About the same time COVID hits.

August 2020

Realize a sore on my gums where I originally cut my gums with a tortilla chip hasn’t gone away and I show my wife who made me an appointment to see the dentist. The dentist sends me to an oral surgeon who takes biopsies a week later.

Sept 11th 2020 I am diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma of the mucosa. Spend the rest of the month with random scans and pre op appointments.

Oct. 13th I have 6 lower teeth gum tissue and bone coped along with 53 lymph nodes removed from my neck; in addition a skin graft and a NG tube. I spend 4 days in the hospital and about 5 weeks recovering at home.

Nov 2020 After the surgical biopsy it is decided I need chemo and radiation are necessary so over the month of November I get a chemo port and a peg tube. I start chemo and radiation on Nov. 30th. Dad is out on hospice also in November.

Dec-January my body is put through the most terrible thing I hope I ever have to endure. If the nausea, weakness and genuinely feeling like crap from chemo isn’t enough. The radiation burned my neck and jaw as well as created sores inside of my mouth and destroyed my saliva glands. In addition Jan 2nd my parents sell their house and moved into my basement.

Feb- Apr 2021

February 5th Dad completes his cancer journey in my basement surrounded by me, my mom, and one of his sisters. April 6th was scan day. April 7th I was told I was in remission. April 9th they took biopsies out of an abundance of caution. April 13th I am told I am not in remission. I have a second primary tumor on the left side of my mouth.  

May 2021

May 4th I had surgery to remove the cancer and 5 more lower teeth removed and a strip of flesh cut from my shoulder and weaved up through my neck into my mouth to replace lost tissue. May 12th still in the hospital and I go back to the O.R. to get my neck opened back up to remove a hematoma and clean up infection. May 14th infection is found in my shoulder and I had two options O.R. and add to my hospital stay or let them pop the staples and stitches and irrigate my shoulder bedside. I chose bedside. Finally on May 17th I was discharged and have spent the last few weeks healing and while the swelling is going down I have another operation July 7th to debulk my flap. After that eventually I will have another debulking procedure then I will start the process of reconstruction of my teeth.

I thank God my journey hasn’t been as bad as a lot of others I’ve seen but without my faith I wouldn’t be here.  If I didn’t believe this life is only temporary and that this season of cancer was but a drop in the ocean of eternity I’d be really pissed off. I’ve tried to show my strength through my faith as well as my weakness. I don’t want to put on the facade that I have Jesus so I am always ok. I fall and I fall a lot. There are people God has put in my life to help pick me up and it has been my prayer since my journey started that I will be able to use this shitty situation to help others whether it’s to prove to people tobacco can and will cause cancer or just to help others going through the same shit.  I could go deeper into how God has helped me through this journey but I know not everybody believes the way I do.

Chris Brown

CHRIS BROWN

HOLLIS, NH

ACUTE MYELOID LEUKEMIA (AML)

In the summer of 2015, just six months after completing the New York City Marathon, I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML), a very aggressive and sudden onset form of leukemia. Over the next six months, I endured aggressive rounds of chemotherapy before my eventual stem cell transplant in the fall of 2015. 

The very long periods of time (the first being 51 consecutive days) in the hospital while undergoing treatments, I managed to keep an incredibly positive attitude, forming a mantra of “I Got This!” and “FU-Cancer.” I also made it a priority of working out as often as possible.

While in the hospital however, my workouts no longer consisted of heavy strength days or 60-70 mile weeks. At times, it was the only energy I could muster to walk one lap around the nurses’ station (a 31st of a mile). However, as my strength improved, I developed a daily workout routine I could complete in my hospital room: some squats at the side of the bed and some upper body exercises with bands. It was an incredibly humbling experience for me as a personal trainer and athlete to modify an exercise program so severely.

Now completely healthy and appreciative of life and the value health holds, my wife Alicia and I attempt to give back to the leukemia and cancer community through education, speaking engagements and within our own community through our Personal Training and Physical Therapy business called EnduraFit Training and Rehab. FU-Cancer still has a similar sentiment, but has also taken on new meaning: “A Fitter U through Cancer.” After opening EnduraFit’s doors in November 2018, it became a priority for us to incorporate that same training philosophy when working with clients fighting or recovering from cancer, even inspiring me to obtain a new certification and become only one of two Certified Cancer Exercise Trainers in the state of NH. 

More and more research reveals exercise as an important role in overall recovery from cancer, however, many personal trainers shy away from working with this amazing and specialized population. Who better than a survivor to pursue working with these Cancer Warriors?

Each year since my recovery from transplant, we have sponsored and organized an independent fundraiser such as a 2 day “Border to Border” bike ride from the border of Canada/New Hampshire to the southern border of New Hampshire/Massachusetts (235 miles), Ultra-marathons (45-100 miles) and sales of FU-Cancer goods such as hats, t-shirts and tech shirts. All of the funds raised go to the FU-Cancer scholarship which offsets the cost of services for Cancer Warriors in the community going through treatment and into survivorship.

This year is no different, as the goal once again will be to attempt to complete 100 miles of the Ghost Train Ultra-marathon in October. Although the training is very demanding and at times extremely difficult, it’s nothing compared to the treatments everyone in this group goes through.  As I continue to build up the miles training for this event, I can’t help but think of this group and give Miles and Smiles to the Wolfpack. FU-Cancer is EnduraFit’s non-profit component, working with Cancer Warriors, providing a scholarship to our local community members currently fighting or recovering from cancer treatments.