JWT - Volume XXXI
Joe’s Wolfpack Trailblazers
November/December 2022
A Year In Review
— Joe Bullock, lead administrator, Man Up to Cancer - The Howling Place (Also known as The Wolfpack)
I started the year of 2022 very much the same way I have the previous three years as a cancer survivor: feeling the anxiety of upcoming scans to see if my colon cancer had recurred or spread past my colon.
Every year since I was diagnosed with stage 3B colorectal cancer, the pattern has been the same in my cancer journey. It reminds me of the movie 'Groundhog Day,’ when the lead actor in the movie would wake up to reliving the same day over and over again. I would brace myself throughout the holidays for whatever may happen at that upcoming appointment. I had grown to understand that logic and science tells me there is very little chance of reoccurrence of my colorectal cancer but we also know that cancer doesn't always play by logic or rules.
I am very fortunate to have an oncologist at my cancer center to set up all my appointments on the same day. I would find out the results of my scans and blood tests before I was to meet with him later that morning. I realize many patients are not afforded this opportunity and some have to wait days for the results. You would think in our modern world that patients should get results in a matter of hours and not days. That's a topic for another day and I digress for now.
Luckily I got to spend those couple of hours waiting between appointments at the Starbucks inside my cancer center. I had just returned from a leadership conference with COLONTOWN in San Diego. It was a milestone experience for me as I had never flown on a plane before in my life. COLONTOWN has been a big part of me building a platform to help those battling cancer. It's also where I met my friend Trevor Maxwell and became connected to his Man Up To Cancer platform.
I had been trying for weeks to gain some perspective as a cancer survivor and my desire to help others. I had pretty much been living my life in six months between follow up scans and blood work. A lot of times as cancer patients we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I knew I needed to gain a much more healthy approach to my survivorship.
Joe Bullock
When I got to my oncology appointment that day, I sat in his office waiting for the results. When my oncologist walked in the room he looked at me and said "It's really good to see you smiling today.” He told me that I usually have a worried look on my face when he walks in the room, like I was getting ready to face bad news. I had become more accepting of my survivorship, after a series of clear scans and good blood work. I had been focusing more on my advocacy work to support other cancer survivors. We talked about my role as a community leader for COLONTOWN; my work with Man Up To Cancer, where I’m the lead administrator of MUTC’s Howling Place group on Facebook. We spent so much time talking about my advocacy work that we almost forgot to talk about my test results. He could see clearly that I had gotten to a much healthier place mentally facing my survivorship.
We finally got around to the results and he said I was just plainly 'unremarkable' and all the blood work was in the 'green,’ meaning everything was good. We looked through my scans together and he showed me just how 'unremarkable' I was that day. He said “You are in the clear and I will see you in a year.”
A year? I thought to myself, what am I going to do for a whole year? No more waiting six months to the next set of scans. He said it was time to start working towards the 5-year mark and accepting my life as cancer free. We talked a bit more about my family then he wished me well until next year.
I walked out to the front of the cancer center and stopped at the survivors garden. I sat on a bench to reflect on what just happened and to call my wife, Michelle, with the results of the day. We talked for a bit about everything and planned a celebration dinner for later that evening. When I got off the phone I sat on the bench and I just couldn't move at all. I just continued to think to myself, what am I going to do for an entire year? Ultimately, I decided to look for ways to do what I had grown to love doing: finding ways to advocate and support others in the cancer fight. I told the universe that day to 'Bring It On' and I'm all in on the mission that I felt was right in front of me.
A couple of days later I got an email from COLONTOWN inviting me to represent them at the Cologuard Classic Golf tournament in Tucson, Arizona. The Champion Pro Am golfer David Toms wanted to play in my honor and share my survivorship story. It was a complete honor to be given this opportunity by Bryan Goettel and the team at Cologuard.
What I wasn't expecting was to get off the plane to go to the event and to find out one of the youngest to fight stage IV Colorectal cancer had died that very day.
After living for two years with the disease, Jackson Forssberg died last February at the young age of 13. “Captain” Jackson's life was cut way too short and he sailed away from us forever. I had gotten to know his mom Lisa Howard and his older brother Maxwell as Jackson was being treated at the hospital near where I lived. Even though I was hurting for all of them, I knew I was in the right place at the time in Arizona. I was glad to be around other cancer survivors at the golf tournament that week because they could relate to such a loss and the pain that comes from it.
The following week I would go to Jackson's funeral and mourn his death. He will always leave me with the desire to continue to advocate for those so young in the fight with colorectal cancer. I will continue to offer emotional support to these families caring for a child with colorectal cancer with the COLONTOWN JUNIOR platform.
Jackson Forssberg, left, with his brother and mom
I have been given so many incredible opportunities to share my survivorship story on multiple podcasts and also being able to write about it in a few publications this past year. I have never considered myself to be a public speaker but with a motivation like surviving cancer it can change you and push you to do things you never thought possible.
A couple of years ago Trevor encouraged me to write this article each month, which has given me the opportunity to share the cancer stories of more than 90 members of The Howling Place Group with a total of 30 editions of the 'Joe’s Wolfpack Trailblazer' to date.
For many of these men it is the first time publicly sharing their cancer stories. This past September I got to meet a few of them in person at the 'Gathering Of Wolves' event created by Man Up To Cancer. It brought me to tears that weekend because I understood the battle they had fought to be at the event. I look forward to sharing more of their cancer stories in the coming year.
A couple of weeks ago I went to visit a friend going through treatment at my cancer center. As I was leaving I stopped by the same bench at the survivors garden, but next to it there was something new that I had not seen before.
There is now a large bell with a plaque that had an inscription that stated 'Sound of Hope.’ I decided when I return in a few weeks for my yearly follow up exams and blood work, I would once again stop afterwards at that same bench to let the universe know I am ready to start the year anew, but this time I will ring that bell as loud as I can.
That sound will let everyone know that no matter if it's day one or one thousand and one, there is always hope in the fight.